It’s been a difficult few weeks, and I apologize to all of my followers for my absence. As many of you have ready I went to Panama City Beach, Florida this Spring Break but not for the normal routine. I went with 1,000 other college students to share the love of God! We went down with the mind set of winning the hearts of many for the gospel! It was such a beautiful experience for me, I got to really see what breaks God’s heart at it’s fullest extent. It was really a time of self reflection, and the shadowing in my life where I saw that changes needed to be made.
When going into Big Break I had the slightest attitude, a bad one. I was ever so slightly angry about certain people that were going on the trip, and it really hindered my excitement. I tried to push it aside, and for the most part I was able to. So in doing that I put my full heart into trying to hear God and what he wanted to say to me, and for the most part I believe I was pretty successful. Although there was another hindereance, my own self confidence. You see I am on the evangelism team for Campus Crusades at Radford University. In being on this team a lot is required from me. I must go out and do on campus evangelism every week, I’m also required to be pretty open with my life when it comes to sharing. Those both aren’t things that are too difficult for me, but never the less it’s still hard.
As the week began I found myself in quite the bind. I was so lost, and honestly couldn’t hear God, it was so weird; because usually I can’t hear God when I chose to go against him, in that moment I can’t think of anything that classified as that. That night during the meeting we were challenged to go on a prayer walk. It’s literally as simple as it sound, we go for a walk and pray. So my friend and I went out together because it was at night, we stayed separate though. The day before a new song had been introduced to me by a friend called, “Scratch” by the Shelly Moore Band. The song is so incredible, and beautiful. It’s also exactly what I needed at the moment. I downloaded the song, and uploaded it to my ipod, and headed out on my prayer walk.
I’ve done a few “prayer walks” in my life, but never one like this, this one felt more real than any other before. I really listened to the words of the song that I had on repeat and wanted them to truly implement themselves into my life. Shelly Moore’s voice is so incredibly beautiful, real, soft, and honest. Listening to it makes me dream of angles, and It made me feel like God was looking right at me and smiling. “Father help me wait for my full reward, remind my soul that it’s not here.” Those lyrics helped me remember that my reward was not going to come through my evangelism that week. I wasn’t going to see it on that beach, it was coming when I go home! When I see my father God face to face, that’s when my real true and FULL REWARD will come. I found this on that beautiful starry night in Panama City Beach, Florida. That night is forever with me from every step of my walk, to the lyrics and melody of the song I was listening to. I am reminded everyday of the reward, and I can’t wait till the day I get to fully experience my FULL REWARD!
“Rejoice in that day, and leap for joy, for behold, your reward is great in heaven” Luke 6:23